This "Old" Brain

I began school to be an esthetician six weeks ago and, while I am enjoying the class for the most part, I never dreamed how difficult it would be with respect to homework and stretching my brain to remember the various systems of the body (there are eleven of them), the bones of the head and face (22 out of a total of 206 in our bodies) and the myriad of nerves, arteries and veins of which our bodies are composed.

I have not studied anything in depth in more than 30 years - okay, 35 - and it's tough!  Three hours of homework on average each night, taking tests (tests!) and I have to do a project on one of the systems of the human body.  I can see why people try to finish school before they get married or start a family.  That said, I'm doing well and am happy to go there each day and look forward to the more practical applications of what I'm learning.

Since starting school and exercising my brain I am remembering vivid dreams every morning, something I rarely did before.  I don't know what that's indicative of, if anything, but it's interesting.  This morning's memory was trying to put on a dress to take a belly dancing lesson and I couldn't find anywhere to get changed and when I did find a quiet corner I couldn't figure out how to get the dress on because it had a bodice and laces....it was all very silly.  I guess my mind is in overdrive...I'm sure Freud would have something to say about it but I'm not asking his opinion.

And the biggest question of all:  When I get my business cards done do I spell it "esthetician" or "aesthetician"?  My teacher prefers the latter spelling and that is what is used in most medical settings (that is not my interest), but she likes it because she thinks it's interesting and perhaps quirky in her mind.

My schooling will be completed in April and I will begin my new career - all part of finding my rudder.  30 years of being a secretary is behind me, it served me well but I'm done.  I'm more than thrilled about the next chapter.

Anchors are Important

Today is my daughter's birthday, she is 32.  How can it be 32 years since I first held her - her peaches & cream complexion, the longest toes I had ever seen on a baby and the big blue eyes - the time has flown.  Now she is a mom to two stepsons who call me Grandma and who bring me joy.  Life is coming full circle.

As I think of finding my way I think of my daughters and how they are anchors...anchors to give me pause to stop and think of what is best for my family as I try to find what is best for me.  And beautiful anchors they are! 

Were it not for my anchors who knows where I would have ended up?  I'm a Pisces - a dreamer and a chaser of dreams.  I don't believe the daily horoscope (though I do check to see how many stars I have each day) but I do believe in the traits.  Artistic, happy, placid water people - til you tick us off!  I was "ticked off" for many years in this life and some only knew me as that person.  Time, bumps in the road, intelligence gained and finding someone wonderful to share my life with have made me a nicer person, far less ticked off! 

I am grateful for my anchors and sorry for one that I lost...hopefully he will find his way back one day, I keep looking for him.  He will be 34 on Christmas Day, I haven't seen him in seven years.  We all have our own journey - but it's so much better if we share it with people we love.

Today as I stand looking forward, I am taking loving looks backward and seeing my daughter in my mind's eye as she learned to walk, started school, made friends, learned to do math, have her heart broken, graduate high school, graduate from college, survive a terrible accident, marry a fabulous guy with two wonderful sons.  As I turn to look forward again I feel great peace for what is behind me and great joy for what lies ahead.